Tuesday, November 30, 2010

In Remembrance

When I read of Leslie Neilson passing last night, I thought of Glenn D and his story of meeting the man, told with typical Glen hilarity. So, in honor of two men who always bring a smile to my face, here is Glenn's story.

801- DID YOU JUST FART?.. FLASHBACK 11
I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT NEXT

Here is a rather humorous story about a weekend in Maui, a celebrity and a couple of bodacious farts.
The scenario:
I was working on the Island of Kauai, Hawaii when my boss told me I should go to Maui for a Golf Course Builders Association convention. He explained that many people in the golf industry would be there and since we would be working and meeting a lot of these members during the course of our work I should go to meet and get acquainted with them. So I went. The place was the Westin Maui Hotel and Resort, the kind of place people save for years to go to on vacation.
So off I went:
I was only planning to stay for that day so I didn't pack any extra clothing or even plan to spend the night. Just to go there and fly back that same day. It was kinda like going to Guam for a day and returning the same day, no big deal. There were architects, suppliers, builders, and lots of golf related people there, just as he said. But the thing that surprised me the most was there were hundreds of movie stars, celebrities and famous people there and they were everywhere you looked. It turned to be a celebrity golf tournament for the John Wayne Cancer Society, a fund raising drive for cancer.. Everybody there was there..
Returning to Maui:
I flew home that evening and grabbed a buddy, packed some bags and flew back for the weekend. We were gonna rub elbows with the rich and famous. Now this story could get really long so I'll get to the main gist of it now.
At the pool bar:
I was sitting at the pool bar beside Leslie Nielson (The Naked Gun Movies, see photo), his wife and another lady. Kirk Douglas, Lloyd Bridges, his sons Beau and Jeff along with Heather Locklear, were at the pool also. Harvey Korman (Carol Burnett show) getting ready to go play his round of golf was there too. Quiet a bunch for us 'regular' dudes.
Soon Leslie struck up a conversation with me about things like, What do you do, where are you from, small chat, friendly stuff, when all of a sudden he FARTED, yes, a long loud fart, but he never missed a beat in his conversation, like it never happened. I didn't know whether to laugh, act surprised or ignore it like it never happened, too, so I did the latter, just choked back my laugh and ignored it, then he FARTED again. Now what's a guy to do, this was funny stuff, before I could react to the second fart he FARTED again. Now these weren't little squeakers these were loud and long, it was undeniable that they were happening.
Well this was all a set-up to see how I'd react and for him to get a few laughs on me. His wife now seeing my puzzled look leaned over and said, "He's got a whoopee cushion and he likes to see the reactions of people when he does that, so never mind its just a joke." Now I must say that broke the ice, or should I say 'cut the wind', and we had a grand time sipping a few drinks together that afternoon. What a fun guy, made my day.
What a great weekend it was, everyone was so gracious and friendly, another fond memory...
.....GED.....

Friday, November 12, 2010

Carnival Spam

I'm feeling a bit better. I can laugh at the silliness of the world and Erdene and the lad are well, so here goes.
Most of the world is aware of my prediliction for that tasty processed meat product known as Spam and those with tv or internet access are also aware of the trials of the passengers on that foreign flagged and operated Carnival cruise ship which lost power off the coast of Baja Mexico this past week. I just wanted to get on my soap box and rebut the slander spread by Carnival cruise line as reported here. To wit, we didn't serve Spam to our passengers set adrift on the high seas. Like there is something wrong with Spam? and this after USN went to all the trouble to divert an aircraft carrier. I wouldn't have let them dock in any US port until all the spam was gone. They had croissants for heavens sakes. Many is the day, I would have loved to lay my sweet Spam slice on a croissant rather than a slice of doubtful sliced bread. Shame on you Carnival. Enforce the Jones Act. Employ US mariners on cruise ships which dock in the US. We in the merchant marine were never too proud to enjoy a can of Spam and we made damn sure the ice machine was on a working buss feed. How could any post devoted to Spam not include this or maybe this.Labels: merchant marine, Spam draft